Sunday, 16 December 2018

My worst date ever

This year, I've tried something I've never done before.

I’ve been dating.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve been in relationships but for some reason I’ve only ‘dated’ people I was friends with first, so I’ve never formally been on ‘a date’… until now.

The whole process has been fun and I’ve met some interesting people but unfortunately last month I had the misfortune of going on the worst date I’ve ever been on.

I know I’ve just admitted I’ve only been dating for a year so at this point you might be saying ‘but Bronia, surely it can’t have been that bad if you don’t have much to compare it to?” Well, person who is interrogating me, you’d be wrong because I think (very much hope) it will be a good long while until I have another one that matches up with this one.

My first mistake was downloading a new dating app. I matched with a cute boy and we chatted on and off for about three weeks before he suggested meeting up. I was kind of surprised because the conversation was more friendly than flirty, but he was hot and there’s no harm on just going on a date, right? WRONG.

We arranged to meet up on a Friday night at 7:30pm which was fine except… I couldn’t find him.

My first warning should have been that he told me he was outside the same building that I was. Because he wasn’t.

After giving me a bunch of different locations he was apparently next to, someone in a striped shirt sprinted past me, at which point I realised that striped shirt boy was my date and had to catch up with him.

We headed to a bar and he pulled out his phone to show me a picture he had taken of a glass that could hold a whole bottle of wine. The bottle next to it was empty. The penny dropped.

“Have you already drank a whole bottle of wine?” I asked. Yes, he had. It was 7:30pm.

“Were you out celebrating something?” No. He finished his lectures and went home and drank a bottle of wine by himself in the middle of the afternoon. Good start.

And he didn’t hold his drink all too well. We got to the bar, ordered drinks (I didn’t order strong enough but really at that point, what would have been?) and sat down, where he asked me a bunch of questions before asking the same questions again a few minutes after I had answered them the first time. Oh, and he was VERY LOUD.

For some reason, it was about this point when he got his phone out and pulled up his family Whatsapp group and started going through all of the photos, showing me all of his cousins and their fiancés and whatever else happened to be in there. Why? I’m still not sure.

Just as I was wondering if I could get to the bar and order a shot without him noticing, he realised I had finished my drink and we moved onto Stack, Newcastle’s shipping container village which, if nothing else, is a lovely place to spend a terrible date.

It was really busy so we found a space on a bench where we were sitting side by side and it was around quarter past 8 by this point, so I had known this boy for about 45 minutes.

Did he know that? I’m not sure, because he proceeded to pull my legs across his and run his hand under my top up my back. Do we need to remind ourselves how long I had known this boy? 45 MINUTES.

I just kept drinking and hoping time would pass more quickly, until I realised he was looking at me earnestly and he (kind of forcefully) pulled me in for a kiss. I swerved like my life depended on it and made an excuse to run to the loo.

When I came back I decided I needed another drink and told him I was going to the bar. I returned to the bench to find that he had disappeared but, despite hoping he had left, he emerged from the direction of the toilets about a minute later.

Now, if you have been to Stack then you will know that it’s not the largest space but unfortunately  for him, he had forgotten where I was. I watched him wander around uselessly for a few minutes, but sadly he finally saw me and came back over.

Then he started talking about moving on again so I finished my drink and we left out of one of the side exits. I turned to go left, heading back into the city centre and he turned right.

“You’re going the wrong way, the bars are in this direction,” I told him, remembering that he told me he had only moved to the city a month ago and didn’t know it very well.

Then he said: “Oh, are you not drunk enough?”

Ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between, it is barely 9pm. We met for the first time an hour and a half ago. Drunk enough for what, exactly?

I replied in the negative and he, completely undeterred, says “let’s go in here then!” before ducking into one of the shops on the exterior of Stack that happened to be an off license.

I told him that I wasn’t going in and stood on the street outside, messaging my group chat asking why bad things happen to good people and after about five minutes when he hadn’t emerged again I headed back into the bar area to go to the loo.

I took my sweet, sweet time, hoping that when I came back out he would be nowhere to be seen and I’d have an excuse to leave but unfortunately when I peered back into the shop he was still there, apparently making firm friends with the employees.

I returned to where I had been standing  earlier when I suddenly asked myself why I the hell I was waiting for this boy. The answer was out of politeness, something he had barely shown me since meeting him (no need to remind ourselves but I’ll do it anyway – an hour and a half ago).

Decision made, I turned around, walked into the city centre, got on a metro home, sent him a message telling him I had left because I thought his behaviour was rude and then rang my friend to rant about the whole sorry situation.

I had been on the metro for about 15 minutes (so about 25 minutes since he had disappeared into the shop) when my call started being interrupted by him trying to call me. I kept ignoring them but they kept coming and it dawned on me that this must mean that it had taken him 25 minutes to actually realise that I wasn’t still waiting outside the shop.

I didn’t pick up and when I got home I found that he'd somehow sent me texts from a different number to the one I had, he had found my Instagram (which I hadn’t given him) and messaged me on there and I also had gibberish messages on the app we had met on.

I eventually blocked his number after the 17th missed call because they were interrupting a Youtube video I was watching on my phone and honestly, because leaving someone you've just met 17 missed calls is a little weird.

I did at least get an apology on the app the next morning but I didn’t reply, deleted the app and I haven’t seen him since.

So, to summarise: I wasted a full face of makeup and had three outfit changes before I left the house while my date couldn’t even stay sober until 7:30pm.

Will I ever find someone worthy? Probably not, so it’s a good job that I’m not someone who particularly minds being single. Please feel free to tell me all about your terrible dates so mine can feel less awful and, until next time, I hope you all do better than me.



  1. I laughed at the first bit but then I became scared for you! It's really gross that he was obviously expecting a lottt more from a first date and had absolutely no concern for your wellbeing. I'm glad you got out safely and I hope you meet your prince after dealing with this slimy frog!


    1. Yeah it was a hideous time but at least it made for a funny story! Thank you, I def made the right decision leaving when I did

  2. Oh my! What a cringe-worthy story! First dates can really suck. Don't worry. You'll find someone worth your time eventually! Bad dates happen to the best of us.

  3. That date is insane! Hope you don't run into a situation like that again. Completely drunk by 7:30 pm? I wonder if that's a normal thing for this guy...


Blogger Template Created by pipdig