Dating is exhausting
and I don’t want to do it anymore.
*Disclaimer: I cannot
be held responsible for my hypocrisy when I inevitably redownload Tinder next
week.
Dating!!! I mean,
does anyone actually enjoy it?
Don’t get me wrong, I
like the thrill of speaking to someone new, the idea that someone actually
finds you interesting enough to want to keep seeing you and the first date
jitters when it’s nearly time to meet them and you’re simultaneously excited
and feel like you want to throw up at the same time.
And I’ve had some
great ones, smooth talkers and first kisses and butterflies and the feeling
that you’ve finally met someone that you just click with.
But I am so sick of
the routine.
Now to be fair, this
might totally be a me issue and not a first date issue but, like with most
things, I’ve fallen in a rut and it’s starting to feel like I’m just going
through the motions.
So I have a first
date, great. I pick out one of my ‘first date outfits’ that have been on at
least three other dates, they inevitably pick a nice bar I’ve already spent a
first date at before and then I actually get on the date itself and find myself
having the same conversations I’ve had what feels like a hundred times.
Here’s an anecdote
which always goes down well to show I have a sense of humour, I’ll leave out
this specific depressing story from when I was a teenager, whoops! Nearly
mentioned an ex! Glad we caught that one in time.
I’m bored.
I know I shouldn’t
be. I know exactly what I’d tell someone in my position, just stop doing it.
And I am going to for
a while. I’ve never met someone I actually liked when I was looking for it. I
even took a quiz that popped up on Tumblr the other day (did I mention that I’m
single???) that informed me that I ‘just haven’t met the right person yet’.
But that's so boring, at least give me something to blame!!!
So here is my
resignation. I’m dating myself from now until a better application comes along.
I can take myself to the cinema, I’m getting better at cooking every time I
pick up a pan and there’s no one whose company I enjoy more.
I’ve never let myself
down before and I’m sure as hell not starting now.
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